


came and went like the summertime

by amongclouds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Movie Reference, My Summer of Love AU, Past Character Death, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4449383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amongclouds/pseuds/amongclouds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Clarke craved the most in life was normalcy and a chance at a comfortable future. By textbook definition, she was categorized under ‘working-class’ for as long as she could remember.</p><p>Over the summer she meets the intriguing Lexa, a neglected daughter from an affluent background. Minds intertwine and the two young women discover they have a lot to learn about themselves, and one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	came and went like the summertime

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on the movie called My Summer of Love which I absolutely adored and felt needed a to be written with Clexa. 
> 
> If you haven't seen it yet, I highly suggest you watch it before you read this because a) it's a great British film with girls kissing and b) i'll try to keep the fic along a similar plot, but obviously not the exact same.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

For the first time in a long time, Clarke had a glimmer of hope. She forgot what it felt like to have something other than impractical dreams and aspirations.

 

It’s not that she’s a cynic, quite the opposite actually.

 

Clarke was very much a realist and she had to at least try and make room for some optimism. She knew she wasn’t that hopeless. She couldn’t be.

 

There had been a time where Clarke thought she had everything figured out. But as usual, it would be a passing, fleeting thought. Nothing had been fine for a long time, but she was used to it. Her normal was not the norm, but Clarke took what she got.

 

When it came down to it, Clarke never really expected to make it as far as she had. It had come as a surprise to her that she even managed to get through high school with an impressive mental state. Wells and Raven were the only ones who kept her feet on the ground when her head was in the clouds.

 

She wasn’t exactly sure of what was to come, but anything is a vast improvement from the last grueling five years of her life. She could be more than just another brick in the wall. Clarke would do it because she refused to fade out and disappear. There was no way she could give up; no one said it would be easy.

 

He never gave up on her. The least she could do was not give up on herself.

 

Okay, so maybe she should start from the beginning.

 

-

 

Bakersfield, California seemed to be an ideal city to start a family. The bigger incentive was more so the job opening and not the affordable living cost. Though both of those factors helped them get on their feet.

 

Jake heard about a position working down in the mines and like any other new father would, he jumped on the opportunity. It wasn’t an ideal 9-5 job with excellent benefits, but the late hours and countless loads of laundry was worth the financial security it brought their growing family.

 

The best thing that Clarke would come to know of was the day Jake and Abby decided to adopt a big brother for her.

 

She wasn’t old enough to understand the whole process, but her new sibling struck Clarke when they introduced them. It was new and exciting, but slightly disconcerting because of the newfound hierarchy.

 

Wells was six and Clarke was four, so to be fair, everything was already pretty overwhelming and hard to comprehend. All she knew was that he was pretty mean for taking her things without asking, but later she would teach him the meaning of sharing.

 

It wasn’t exactly something she was used to being the only child, but the entire family dynamic changed once Wells came into the picture. It took a lot of patience on everyone’s part but they all soon came to grow fond of the welcomed changes.

 

It had been two years into their new life and everything unfolded exactly how it should have. Abby didn’t need to work and instead stayed at home to look after Clarke and Wells, trying to get them to reconcile their differences and to become closer.

 

They both were at the tender age of learning to become extremely outspoken and vocal about their opinions, which proved to be difficult to deal with.

 

Wells had already acquired the older brother superiority complex much to Clarke’s dismay. It was a natural brother-sister dynamic; Clarke becoming resentful due to the lack of attention and Wells being what Clarke referred to as a “giant pain in the butt.”

 

They were like any other mildly dysfunctional family and both Abby and Jake confidently agreed that they had made all the right choices. And they did, everything they created for themselves so far had been ideal and fulfilling.

 

But as the three of them sat together eating breakfast like any other morning, no one expected to watch the broadcast of the Bakersfield mine collapse. No one made it out alive. It was first and only accident in the seventy years it had been operating.

 

Jake Griffin didn’t come back home that night and his seat at the table brought emptiness in the house and in everyone’s chest.

 

That’s when everything changed. The colour in their once vibrant household diminished and the only nuance left was replaced by a crippling sadness and painful memories.

 

Clarke cried herself to sleep every night; her muscles ached at the memory of feeling Jake pressing a nightly kiss to her forehead.

 

There was never any hard alcohol in the house when Jake was around, with the exception of an occasional six-pack in the fridge. Abby used his absence as compensation by stocking up their liquor cabinet with unaffordable alcohol. She would drink an entire bottle in a night and it wasn’t unusual for Wells to find her passed out around the house.

 

She would already be drunk by the time their school ended and wouldn’t be able to drive to pick up Clarke and Wells. They became all too familiar with the impoverished city streets of Bakersfield and witnessed firsthand the dangers of being young children in poor neighbourhoods.

 

Instead of being a responsible adult, Clarke and Wells became their own parental figures and looked after Abby who became an alcoholic seemingly overnight.

 

Both of them would go to school with practiced smiles plastered on their faces and became immune to the condolences sent their way. Teachers would ask them lots of questions about how they’re doing at home to which they reply monotonously, everything’s fine, nothing to worry about.

 

Clarke’s drawings became less frequent and darker in subject matter and vivacity. It elicited some apprehension from her art teacher, but again, she knew what to say.

 

Wells started getting into fights and became uncharacteristically aggressive to the students and his teachers. No one recognized him without his trademark toothy grin, wearing nothing now but a blank stare and a clenched jaw.

 

With no income coming in, they relied on monthly welfare cheques just to pay off their bills. Abby was in no condition to be working and instead wasted her days drinking until she drifted into unconsciousness. She basically checked out as a mother, the faces of her children only served as a reminder of her late husband.

 

More than a year after Jake’s death, Wells took it upon himself to bring in the mail, which only consisted of bills and notices from the government. He was still too young to understand what it all meant, the recurring words being “foreclosure” and “bankruptcy”.

 

When he brought it to Abby one afternoon before she started her daily drinking binge, Well’s wouldn’t forget the way she clutched him and sobbed into his shirt. Mumbles of apologies and a tear stained face couldn’t bring them back out of this.

 

A few weeks later, people dressed in business suits started showing up at their front doorstep. Abby would have a glass of wine spilling over onto her hand as she screamed at the visitors who threatened the safety of their home.

 

She was deluded enough to believe that nothing would come of her missed payments. Abby was powerless and resorted to feeding Clarke comforting lies with the reassurance of a tight embrace.

 

 _I’m sorry_ , she would say. _You two will be fine, I promise._

 

Clarke knew better, she was only nine at the time but she was smart enough to realize that nothing was fine. Wells was the only one left in Clarke’s life that didn’t lie to her and tell her everything would be okay when it was far from it. Everything was going to shit and the two of them couldn’t do anything about it.

 

They came home from school on a Friday night to find Abby sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by family photos with a watery smile on her face. She didn’t drink at all that night and instead spent it in silence with Clarke on her lap and Wells leaning on her shoulder. It was the first night in a long, long time that they actually felt like a family and weren’t just going through the motions.

 

But when Clarke woke up to find a bare closet and an empty driveway, she couldn’t bring herself to shed any more tears. Her eyes were dried out and the hollowness in her chest grew, she was all too familiar with the feeling of hopelessness.

 

 

Wells had to be strong for the two of them and became cold to the foster family they got situated with, but never showed the same resentment to Clarke. She didn’t deserve anymore hurt than she already felt and as much as Wells would brush off his own insecurities, they still peered through the surface.

 

 _We’ll be okay Clarke._ His words soon became the only ones that mattered to her.

 

_It’s you and me against the world._

 

 _I’ll always take care of you, okay?_ He always did.

 

Wells managed to graduate from elementary school with satisfactory grades and started high school in the fall. But his grades drastically worsened with his aggressive nature and apathetic attitude towards the school system. When he turned fifteen, he dropped out of school and got a part-time job in a rough part of town.

 

It seemed like a good idea to the older brother so Clarke kept quiet and pushed away the feeling of dread she felt. In an effort to focus on anything other than the mess of her life, she immersed herself in drawing. It was her only creative outlet that allowed her to express herself within a reasonable budget.

 

While she kept herself busy with school and art, she didn’t take notice of the cuts and bruises on Wells’ body that seemed to appear overnight. Clarke went through a period of introversion, finding it difficult to make friends with kids in her grade. She blocked out her foster parents and sometimes-even Wells, who started coming home at odd hours of the night smelling like smoke and unfamiliarity.

 

He started coming home with wads of cash in his pocket and an accomplished look on his face when he would silently hand over a small roll of twenties to Clarke. She wasn’t sure how jobs worked exactly but her naivety saw his irregular earnings as a silver lining.

 

It wasn’t until she started overhearing frequent yelling in the other room by Nathan her foster father that she started to become worried. Clarke would hear it late at night and she knew it was because Wells came home past curfew, as usual.

 

He wasn’t in the habit of lying to Clarke, but when it came to how he made money and supported the two of them, Well’s couldn’t afford to be completely honest. He’d been getting away with it for almost two years that Clarke didn’t even question it anymore.

 

She felt normal for a change and Clarke didn’t want anything to change. She just started grade nine and had a difficult enough time trying to find her place, she didn’t need any more added stress.

 

What she didn’t know was that he wasn’t actually working part-time at a grocery store in the city, but instead had been working for a drug dealer in the heart of Bakersfield. Wells would carry large amounts of illegal substances with him and couldn’t come home until he had sold his entire inventory.

 

But naturally, everything she had so worked so hard to believe slipped through her fingers. Well’s hysterical voice on the other end of the phone telling her that he’d been arrested felt like a punch to the gut.

 

Wells was the only person in her life that she trusted the most and to be lied to about such a dangerous occupation made her seethe. She was angry, but mostly just scared because there was no way she could afford to lose the only person she had left.

 

He was caught driving under the influence as a minor and possession of illegal drugs, which meant that he would be sentenced as an adult. Their foster family refused to pay for his bail and Wells couldn’t afford it on his own. He’d be lucky if he got away with a few months in a juvenile detention center.

 

Things weren’t going their way for a while, so why would it now?

 

When Clarke met his eyes from across the courtroom and heard the judge announce a three-year sentence, her chest heaved and she couldn’t breathe.

 

She was ripped out of his arms and Clarke wailed as she saw Wells being dragged towards the other direction with tears in his eyes, and his breaths coming in short bursts. It was another painful reminder to the blonde that all the odds were stacked against her.

 

Clarke would soon go back to crying until she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. She found herself wishing that she still had someone to crawl into bed with who wasn’t cold and unfamiliar.

 

This is the part of the story where things sort of start to inadvertently look up. It’s also the first of many times Clarke finds herself saying something new but profoundly genuine.

 

Thank God for Raven Reyes.

 

They met in their ninth grade Spanish class in a less than ideal circumstance, surrounded by moronic teenagers. Clarke walked into the class late to a very loud and obnoxious short dark haired girl spewing out what she assumed were Spanish obscenities at a boy with long straggly hair.

 

Her first impression of the girl was that she was extremely vocal and sarcastic, something she found slightly intimidating. Clarke didn’t expect the first words from her to come in an abrasive tone directed toward her, " _Hey princess, doesn’t he remind you of Fabio?"_

 

It was true so she nodded her head in agreement and found herself getting along with the outspoken girl, whose name she learns is Raven. The boy with long unkempt hair was Finn, a boy she found herself sparing shy glances at. They were the first two people she formed a genuine friendship with, and it was something she didn’t know she needed until she had it.

 

Her closeness with Raven was not something she saw coming, considering how their personalities clashed at first. There was an indescribable affection she had for the shorter girl, and accepted her as she was, brazenness and cynicism included. Clarke enjoyed her company because for as long as she was with Raven, her mind didn’t weigh heavy with thoughts of her brother sitting in a prison cell.

 

Clarke started to spend a lot of time at Raven’s house and the way her home emanated warmth reminded her of something she was too young to appreciate. Her parents were so good to her and it felt exactly like how a home should. It flooded her mind with images of her own family and the fleeting happiness they shared. As painful as the memories were, they were no doubt the best times of her life.

 

It was halfway through the school year when Clarke opened up to Raven about what she’s gone through, and she didn’t expect the tears that came along with it. She felt old wounds reopen but instead of over-sympathizing, the dark haired girl listened and held her hand when it began to shake.

 

_"I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it gets any easier because it doesn’t. Good people have shitty things happen to them, but the important thing is to not let it be a barrier in your life. Don’t let yourself get stuck Clarke."_

 

Clarke didn’t realize it at the time, but that was exactly what she needed to hear.

 

There was no way in hell that she expected to hear that Raven was quick to tell her parents about the blonde’s unique situation. When Clarke heard that the girl’s parents wanted to become her legal guardians, the rush of appreciation was overwhelming but it seemed too good to be true.

 

She would later come to know that Raven was never too good to be true; she was just too good to Clarke in every way.

 

But in all actuality, Raven’s parents weren’t kidding. Eloise and Hugo Reyes had already set the legal transfer into play and were just waiting for the official documentation. Clarke had never, ever expected for something so gracious from a family who didn’t owe her a single thing.

 

They gave her the basement with her own bedroom and bathroom suite, and she couldn’t begin to express in words the gratitude she felt. Clarke had never, ever expected for something like this to happen in her life. There was no one left but Wells until now, and it felt like a new beginning.

 

There was so much for her to be thankful for; the fact that she had a roof over her head was a miracle in itself. A warm bed in an even warmer home with people she would grow to adore; Clarke knew Wells would’ve been happy here.

 

It was surprising that with a lack of parental authority, Clarke was still able to grow up being the overly polite, but endearing girl she was. Raven had to master the art of being unaffected when she had to tell the blonde to shut up whenever she apologized too much or said thank you too many times.

 

The summer after she moved in with Raven’s family was when the dark haired girl suggested they get matching tattoos. Clarke laughed almost instantly because it seemed like the lamest idea coming from her but she wasn’t totally against it.

 

 _"Ohana"_ , Raven had said quietly.

 

Clarke didn’t need an explanation; she was already sold to the idea. They both got the sentimental word tattooed in small black script on their inner wrists.

 

The love she felt and received from Raven and her parents was more than she could ask for. It almost made her forget about her own dysfunctional life story. But if she was being honest with herself, she couldn’t forget about it, not really. Clarke truly believed that things happened for a reason and she was hoping that her belief wasn’t just a comforting fantasy.

 

She even took it upon herself to get a part-time job after school to help pay for her extra living expenses. Raven’s parents strongly insisted against it but when they saw the brighter side of her personality shine through because of it, they knew there was no argument. She was a fairly soft-spoken young girl but when it came to her responsibilities, she took initiative and avoided shortcuts.

 

Feeling like she was breathing easier and sleeping more peacefully, Clarke finally felt like she had a purpose. She was halfway through high school but it didn’t stop her from trying to work towards her goals. There was a newfound confidence that radiated from her and her insecurities crumbled away enough to finally let someone in.

 

Finn was the Fabio-lookalike dork she met in grade nine when she first met Raven, but Clarke never really looked at him twice back then. It took her two years of exchanging awkward glances and getting to know him better through mutual classes before she really felt anything.

 

He asked her out in the beginning of the eleventh grade and she absolutely didn’t think it was a year overdue. That would’ve been presumptuous of her and Clarke wasn’t even that interested in Finn and his ridiculous shampoo-commercial-worthy hair. Not at all.

 

Though apparently Raven saw it coming and teased her for the longest time but Clarke just learned to ignore her snide comments. She saw the way the shorter girl looked at them with soft eyes, and Clarke couldn’t ignore the way her gaze lingered on Finn for far longer than necessary.

 

What they had was easy and he was sweet to her and it was exactly what she wanted it to be. He helped Clarke forget about the heaviness that followed her and was there to hold her hand when she broke down. Finn was the ideal boyfriend and he filled a void in her chest, but she accepted that he would never be able to consume all of the emptiness.

 

It wasn’t getting easier, but her tears came less often and she learned to stop feeling sorry for herself. Wells would’ve wanted her to make something of herself and to not make the same mistakes he did. As valid as the consequences were for his actions, he would have never been sent to jail as a minor if he had a reason to stay in school and not find other ways of making money.

 

Since the beginning, he had always had Clarke’s well being on his mind, making sure everything he did was of some sort of benefit to her. His selflessness is what got him to where he was, and the least she could do was try to return the favor.

 

She had been saving up enough money to buy herself a decent car, but it was already nearing graduation. Clarke made half of what she needed but there was no way one months pay with a part-time job would be enough. The challenging life of a working-class citizen she realized would always be a constant struggle.

 

Wells was being released in a month and Clarke needed to get to Palm Springs to pick him up. The prison set up a rehabilitation plan for him by finding him a job, providing counsellors and $200 for the first month. They also found him a two-bedroom apartment in the suburbs, with the first months rent paid off. It was the most ideal outcome she ever expected and there was no way it could go to waste.

 

She already planned to have her things packed up and be ready to leave after graduation, hopefully with a car to get her there. It had been a long three years without him and getting to see him again after all this time made her anxious.

 

Clarke managed to keep her sanity thanks to the Reyes, they were honestly her saving grace and she couldn’t wait to tell him all about them.

 

She had her fresh start and now Wells needed his. Someone needed to remind him that he wasn’t a lost cause. Just because Clarke was lucky enough to have a chance at reviving her ambitions while he was away, didn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve his.

 

Clarke just needed more time and it would all be fine.

 

-

 

She woke up to footsteps creaking above her, though not unusual, they were distractedly heavy and repetitive. It was getting kind of pestering when Clarke felt herself getting conscious enough to hear anything and everything. The sound of muffled conversation accompanied the noise and Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, pushing the sides of her pillow into her ears.

 

When the sounds continued, the blonde reluctantly cracked her eyes open and peered over to her bedside to check the time.

 

It was even quarter past nine. She exhaled a long breath, annoyed. “Really?”

 

To be fair, her and Raven were at an after-party at Finn’s after the ceremony and she managed to consume more drinks in four hours than she did all year. So yes, she was really hoping for a recovery period and some well deserved slack.

 

 

Clarke was officially out of high school and she was so relieved at passing another milestone yet was anxious for what was to come. Graduation brought her a sense of normalcy and last night was a steady reminder that she was exactly where she needed to be.

 

She knew they would’ve been proud of her. Clarke just wished one of them were here to see it for themselves.

 

Looking out to see Hugo and Eloise offering proud smiles with Raven and Finn sporting similar expressions warmed her heart. Clarke never stopped working her ass off and to be recognized for one night was enough to ignite a spark that she thought burnt out.

 

After a little while, silence settled around her again and Clarke felt her eyelids become heavier with exhaustion. She felt herself drifting to sleep again, but not before she was abruptly awoken with a jolt.

 

With the sound of something clattering loudly onto what Clarke presumed was the tile floor; she let out a disgruntled groan. She pressed the heels of her hand onto her eyes uncomfortably and gave up trying to ignore the incessant noise.

 

“For fuck’s sake,” she growled.

 

It was pretty unusual for anyone to be awake this early in the morning, especially on a Saturday of all days. Hugo and Eloise didn’t sleep in too late, but then again she couldn’t tell because they hardly made a sound when they got up. Raven on the other hand cherished her beauty sleep and slept in till the afternoon, far from eager to grace anyone with her presence.

 

So it was safe to say Clarke was thoroughly confused and equally irritated.

 

With a huff, she pushed herself up and sat upright, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her body was sore from the drunk dancing she knew she partook in and the dull throb in her head reminded her of tequila and bad choices.

 

She grudgingly slid her bare legs from under her blanket, immediately regretting her decision when she caught a chill. Her body shivered involuntarily and Clarke yawned, eyes closed and open-mouthed.

 

The first thing she did was wash her face and brush her teeth, waking up slightly with the morning ritual. She was used to seeing herself with major bedhead so it didn’t bother her in the slightest. All she did was run her fingers through blonde waves and untangled the knots on the ends.

 

Her feet shuffled lazily across the carpet and she felt Luna brush up against her legs, greeting with soft purrs. Clarke scratched behind her ear where she liked it most before climbing the stairs slowly and one at a time.

 

The familiar smell of pancakes wafted from upstairs and Clarke’s steps became quicker when she felt a rumble in her abdomen. They were the ultimate breakfast food and Hugo made the greatest stack of them, so she was pretty pumped.

 

She reached the main floor and rounded the corner, hearing mild chaos coming from the kitchen. Clarke smiled at the muttered cursing and when she got close enough in view of the kitchen, a smirk grew as she crossed her arms and leaned on the wall.

 

“Morning sunshine.”

 

Raven must not have noticed her because when she heard the voice she flinched, and sent the spatula in her hand flying in the air. It hit the ground and left Clarke looking at her with a grin.

 

Her voice came out hoarse and she cleared her throat before going on, “What’s all this?”

 

“Breakfast, what does it look like?” Raven answered shortly and brushed off the startle with a scoff.

She laughed at the girl’s wide-eyed expression before picking up the spatula off the ground and handing it back over, “No shit, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you up this early. _And_ making pancakes?”

 

The brunette grabbed it from her and went back to flipping. “Enjoy the kindness of my heart while you can smartass,” Raven replied.

 

“Aw look at you being all cute and thoughtful.” Clarke deadpanned, walking around to her side.

 

Raven gave her a look of disgust. “I’ll eat every single pancake, and don’t doubt me,” she challenged and moved her gaze back to the pan.

 

Clarke smiled and ducked down, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl’s waist and dropping a kiss to her cheek. “Ass.”

 

“Nerd,” came the reply after Clarke moved away.

 

The blonde started setting up the table and helped clear away the extra things in the kitchen while Raven finished with the batter.

 

Once she was done, she pushed herself up on the counter, crossing her ankles and watched the girl. “Need help?” Clarke offered lightly.

 

Raven kept her back towards her and looked back over her shoulders, “No worries princess, I’ve got it handled.” She gave Clarke a soft smile.

 

“Not that I’m not thoroughly enjoying this side of you, but you’re acting kind of strange.” She kept her tone casual and clarified after a moment, “Even for you.”

 

“I didn’t realize I’m not allowed to do nice things once in a while, but I can stop if it bothers you so much.” She countered quickly but there wasn’t any harshness behind it.

 

Clarke chuckled under her breath, “No, no it’s great I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m so used to you being a dick ninety-percent of the time.”

 

The brunette shot her an insulted face, furrowing her brows.

 

“Okay that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.” Clarke added.

 

Raven turned the stove off and moved passed the blonde, putting the frying pan in the sink. “Love you too… bitch.” She smirked walking back over and set the towering stack of pancakes on the table.

 

The entire room smelled like powdered sugar and the low growl in Clarke’s stomach was loud enough for both of them to hear.

 

Clarke sat down on the table for four and eyed the variety of pancakes that were piled onto each other. “For someone who only ever eats cereal for breakfast, you made an impressive stack of flapjacks. Thanks Raven.”

 

She got a scratch on the top of her head as a response and the gesture made her shoulders relax. Raven sat on the opposite side and they found themselves in a comfortable silence before she spoke, “There’s blueberry, chocolate chip and cinnamon.”

 

“No plain ones?”

 

“I haven’t forgotten about your deep-rooted and questionable aversion for anything that doesn’t include any added sugars.” Raven replied with a shrug.

 

Clarke smiled at her and pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. “Why have a boring breakfast food when you could add something sweet to it and make it more enjoyable?”

 

She got an unimpressed look in return from Raven but she saw the sides of her mouth twitch upwards. “Just eat your damn pancakes.”

 

They served themselves and Clarke was about to start before she asked, “Where are your parents?” Her voice came out small and cautious.

 

“You can call them mom and dad, you know that.” Raven offered simply after swallowing.

 

Her stomach tightened at the words but she knew Raven was right, “Right, sorry.”

 

The dark haired girl laughed through her nose around her bites and didn’t meet Clarke’s gaze. “Don’t apologize, we’re past that don’t you think?”

 

She just gave her a nod and took small bites, humming in pleasure at the sweetness from the syrup and chocolate chips mixed together.

 

“And to answer your question they’re out, not sure where.” Raven said quickly after taking a drink of her coffee. “That’s why I figured I’d make us some breakfast.”

 

“Okay,” Clarke drawled. She wasn’t entirely convinced considering her sleeping patterns but dropped it anyway.

 

After a long period of extended silence and avoiding each other’s glances, Raven met Clarke’s eyes before speaking, “Why so glum chum?”

 

“What?” It was far too early for Raven to be so inquisitive and it was setting Clarke on edge but she pushed away the suspicion. “I’m tired Raven, don’t make me explain why I look like shit at nine in the morning.”

 

Raven sat with an empty plate, occasionally sipping from her mug while Clarke tried to ignore the unsettling feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t tell whether it was from forcing herself to eat so much when she wasn’t even fully awake or something else.

 

“It’s been three years. Isn’t this what you’ve been waiting for?” She said gently but pressed just enough to get Clarke’s attention.

 

The blonde sighed in response and whatever appetite she had dissipated at the shift in the air. Clarke swallowed and set down her fork, clenching her jaw and spared Raven a glance.

 

There was no hesitation in her reply, “Yes- I mean of course,” she managed to get out. “It’s just that- I’ve been thinking about it for so long that now that it’s actually time, I’m just-“

 

Raven cut in before she had the chance to finish, “Scared? Of course you are and I don’t blame you.”

 

Clarke felt her heart rate increase and her breathing becoming staggered, “What if he’s changed? What if he realizes he doesn’t need me anymore?” She inhaled sharply and she felt the air rush to her head. “I don’t think I can handle anyone else leaving…”

 

“Hey, hey look at me.” Raven’s voice was strong and she felt the same strength in a firm grip taking hold of her trembling hand.

 

Her breaths were coming in short bursts and her chest felt tight but when she looked at Raven with softness in her eyes, Clarke tried to steady herself.

 

“It’s going to be fine I swear.” Raven reassured her in a soft voice, rubbing the back of hand. “From what you’ve told me about him he never gave up on you, so why would he now?”

 

Clarke nodded to herself and felt her ragged breathing beginning to even out, focusing on keeping steady breaths.

 

Inhale, exhale.

 

“And let’s say he does decide to fuck off-“ Raven began and Clarke held her breath, waiting for the girl’s sarcastic wit to surface.

 

“There’s no way I’m leaving, ever.” The frailty in her words was enough to make Clarke’s eyes water. “You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

 

She rolled her eyes and moved her eyes down to where Raven had turned her wrist around, caressing the black ink underneath. The blonde sniffled and blinked away the tears in her eyes, giving Raven a shaky laugh, “Ohana.”

 

The dark haired girl gave her a genuine smile before giving her hand a gentle squeeze, “family means no one gets left behind.”

 

“You’re so lame.” Clarke’s voice was raspy but she chuckled and used the back of her hand to wipe away the wetness around her eyes.

 

“Bite me.”

 

Raven avoided the blonde’s eyes but when she caught blue eyes looking at her with a mischievous glint, she smirked and narrowed her eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

 

“Don’t think I wouldn’t do it Reyes,” Clarke challenged.

 

Breaking the affectionate tension between the two, Raven pushed her chair back with a groan and picked up both of their plates. “As much as I’m enjoying this weird banter we have going on, you have shit to do.”

 

“You’re never this perked up about anything, something’s up.” Clarke said accusingly, stayed seated with her arms crossed.

 

Raven scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes from where she stood by the sink, “Shut up and get yourself together.” The dishes clattered but she raised her voice enough for Clarke to hear, “Wells is getting out in two days and I’m sure as hell he’s been waiting to see that pretty face of yours.”

 

-

 

The weight of guilt pressed down onto her chest and Clarke tried her best to ignore it and not let become too overwhelming. She’s gone through worse, much worse. This was nothing, but it still hurt.

 

 **Finn:** i love you

 **Me:** yeah, I know

 

She was doing this for both of them, so really in hindsight she was doing Finn a favour in the long run. The distance would eventually take a toll on their relationship so Clarke did the mature thing and ended it before things got complicated.

 

 **Finn:** say it

 **Me:** you know i care about you

 

That’s what she liked about what she had with Finn, it was easy and most of all, it felt safe. There was a part of her that yearned for something more exciting but she learned to get used to structure and convenience. She wanted him to take her breath away but instead everything felt practiced and nothing surprised her anymore.

 

 **Finn:** don’t pull that shit Clarke

  
**Me:** don’t make this harder for me  
**Me** : i'm doing what i need to do, okay?

 

 **Finn:** okay

 

Clarke had the right to be selfish and end things because she knew it wasn’t worth trying to save something that wouldn’t last. She had spent enough time trying to make everyone else around her happy, so much so that she neglected her own insecurities.

 

 **Finn:** ill miss you

 

It was time for her focus on herself. Clarke learned that being in a relationship with Finn clouded her judgment so much that she forgot about her own needs. She was just being realistic; something she grew to learn was her most valuable attribute.

 

 **Me:** me too

 

 

“Don’t continue watering a dead flower,” she whispered to herself. Saying it out loud gave her solace and she felt the heaviness surrounding her ease slightly.

 

She tossed her phone across her bed and exhaled a long breath, dragging her hands down the length of her face. The skin underneath was dry and Clarke was surprised that she couldn’t find it in herself to cry. There were so many other things in her life that made her cry on sleepless nights, but there weren’t any tears that she shed over breaking up with Finn.

 

It wasn’t like she broke up with him over text because that was cruel and Finn deserved better than that. She told him the night before at his party and even though he used alcohol as an excuse for forgetting, Clarke knew he heard her. She didn’t really blame him for pretending it didn’t happen because it wasn’t exactly the best news to hear after graduation.

 

There was something unintelligible that was going through her mind when coming to the decision of ending things. Whatever it was that she was feeling was comforting and her mind was clear, for the most part. But don’t get Clarke wrong; she’s not cruel, because she too found it bizarre that what she was feeling felt almost like relief.

 

The muffled sound of her name being called got her attention. She let out a tired sigh and pushed herself off the bed with her arms. There still were boxes scattered around her small basement room, she managed to avoid one right by the foot of the bed.

 

“Clarke!” This time Raven’s voice shouted louder and she heard hurried steps follow down the stairs.

 

“I heard you the first time,” she replied with a huff.

 

Raven appeared in front of her shortly afterwards looking slightly out of breath, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. The expression on her face was something along the lines of impatience mixed with her usual ‘resting bitch face’ as Clarke called it.

 

“We’re going to be late,” the brunette said dryly.

 

Clarke was standing by her full-length mirror, looking herself up and down and she narrowed her eyes at Raven’s reflection.

 

“Late for what?” She didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, so she tried again with a softer tone, “It’s ten in the morning on a Saturday. What could you possibly have planned this early?”

 

She turned around to face her and saw the shorter girl biting her lip, with a furrow in her brow. “As shocking as this may sound, I actually want to spend time with you before you leave.”

 

Clarke gave her a genuine smile and ducked her head shyly before meeting brown eyes. “Fine, then let’s go wherever it is we’re going.”

 

At that, the smirk that grew on Raven’s face looked less affectionate and a little more suspicious. She was acting strange and Clarke was trying not to let it get to her.

 

“Okay cool,” Clarke said evenly and she quickly glanced back at her. “Can I have a hint?” She asked and kept her voice neutral, gauging the other girl’s reaction.

 

Without a moment of hesitation, Raven responded with an equally unaffected voice. “Nope.”

 

Clarke groaned and exhaled in unison, “God, you’re insatiable.”

 

Raven waited for the blonde to get her bag before she started making her way back upstairs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

She trailed behind, dragging her bare feet across the carpet and laughed quietly. “You’re a giant pain in my ass but I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

“Don’t get all soft on me just yet Griffin,” she yelled from the top of the staircase. “You have all summer with Wells and when we move in together come September, you’ll regret saying that.”

 

Clarke smiled wide at that because Raven sacrificed so much for her and she brushed it off like it was no big deal. She couldn’t understand how someone as stubborn as Raven would settle for second best when it came to something she was so passionate about.

 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every possible side there is to you, nothing could surprise me in the slightest.” There wasn’t a thing that Clarke didn’t know about Raven at this point, so it wasn’t a huge stretch.

 

“As long as there’s beer in our fridge at all times, it’ll be smooth sailing,” Raven quipped. “

 

Ever since they met, Clarke knew how hell-bent she was to get into Berkeley’s mechanical engineering program. It was the best school in the country and was renowned especially for their engineering programs. It was the one thing that Raven had always dreamt of and for her to drop it all for Clarke? Well, it was hard to fathom that Raven told her that she didn’t care where she went at the end of the day.

 

“I still can’t believe you’re coming with me,” Clarke replied with a tone of disbelief.

 

“It’s no big deal considering we’ve lived together for what- the past four years?” She said simply, and it was as if the words were of no real significance.

 

Clarke walked upstairs and searched for her voice and saw Raven leaning on a counter in the kitchen. Her eyes were glued to her phone, fingers tapping away on the surface.

 

“Why do you keep doing it? The blonde said quietly as she approached the shorter girl with tentative steps.

 

Raven’s voice sounded dull and distracted, “Doing what?” She asked simply without lifting her gaze from the device in her hands.

 

The blonde exhaled a shaky breath and leaned her hips back against the fridge, waiting to meet the other girl’s eyes. She crossed her feet and watched as Raven’s eyebrows creased together in concentration, narrowing her eyes at the screen.

 

“Pretending that me coming into your life didn’t totally fuck up everything you had planned for yourself.” The hurt Clarke felt from verbalizing her thoughts made her stomach tighten in anticipation.

 

That got Raven to look up from her phone; the slight roll of her eyes only gave rise to Clarke’s concern. There was a moment of hesitation as her lips opened then closed before she broke the silence, “You honestly want to know what I think?”

 

She blinked slowly at the brunette and moved her eyes to the ground, feeling her scrutinizing gaze, “yes.”

 

“I don’t know why you have this idea that you’re a burden on me or my parents,” Raven started. Clarke flickered her eyes up and watched her with a vulnerable expression and her arms crossed. “I wish you’d stop thinking like that because it’s kind of ridiculous.”

 

Clarke bit her lip and kept her eyes trained across the room. “You’re the sister I never I had,” Raven’s voice sounded more and more weary as she continued. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted to be able to have that?” Her voice cracked at the end and Clarke tightened her jaw.

 

She was about to say something when Raven gently interrupted her. “Okay, so I knew what I wanted to do and where I’d do it and that all changed because of you,” she drawled tiredly, “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re one of the most important people in my life now and I’d do anything for you.”

 

Raven’s dark brown eyes were earnest and it made Clarke’s chest inflate and her heart swell. Her feet moved her towards where Raven stood and it was almost instinctual the way her arms wrapped around the smaller girls torso.

 

She hugged her firmly but held on, sighing, “I’m sorry,” Clarke mumbled just below her ear.

 

The blonde felt Raven squeezing her waist, pulling her in closer and huffed on the back of her neck at the apology. “What for?”

 

“I don’t know,” Clarke honestly didn’t know what to say, she just felt so drained. “You guys are the only people who actually give a shit and stuck around- it’s just hard to accept, I guess.”

 

The side of her face was pressed against Clarke’s chest, feeling the vibration on her skin. “Like I said, I’m not going anywhere princess.” She felt the back of her shirt being bunched up in Raven’s hand.

 

They stood like that for a short while, in a reassuring embrace for each other before Raven let go of her, clearing her throat. Clarke gave her a shy smile before returning to her spot by the counter opposite to Raven. She slipped her hands in her pockets and took a deep breath, getting her heart to beat at a steady rhythm.

 

The brunette was once again glued to her phone and this time Clarke wanted to know what her deal was. “Who are you texting so eagerly?” She tried to play off her rising suspicions with nonchalance.

 

Brown eyes widened slightly at the question before she looked back up to Clarke. She could see something hiding behind her eyes but the smirk on her face masked it enough for the blonde to overlook it. “No one special, don’t worry about it.”

 

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “O-kay,” She drawled and waited for her to say something more. Instead she was met with a brief moment of silence before Raven finally put her phone in her pocket, and looked at Clarke with wider than usual eyes.

 

“So since the parentals are gone, we’ll have to walk,” Raven rushed out and she clapped her hands in front of her awkwardly and it just made Clarke’s eyes linger on her longer.

 

“What are you not telling me…?” She began with tone of accusation.

 

Raven scoffed and laughed quickly, ignoring the way Clarke’s eyebrows raised in suspicion. “It’s not like I bought you a car or some shit, so don’t get your hopes up.”

 

The blonde chuckled under her breath and pushed herself off the counter and slung her bag across her body, walking away. “Okay whatever I’m done trying to guess, c’mon then.”

 

“I’ll meet you outside, I just need to grab some stuff.” Raven said and Clarke threw the brunette a glance over her shoulder, nodding in response.

 

She walked over to the front hall, reaching the doors and grabbing her pair of blue Sperry’s from the shoe rack. It was the perfect weather for high waisted shorts and a loose tank top, Clarke thought. She pulled off a hair tie from her wrist and made herself a messy but decently put together bun atop her head.

 

When she was somewhat satisfied with her appearance, Clarke checked behind her to see if Raven was coming. Giving up on calling her, she opened the door and clicked it behind her. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before stretching her arms above her head, unaware of the pleased sound she made at the movement.

 

The porch was a wrap-around and had wicker furniture but Clarke decided against sitting down to wait for Raven. It was an incredible day and she welcomed the warmth that stuck to her skin. She loved California, a lot.

 

After stretching her long, toned muscles she started walking down the porch steps, coming into view of the driveway. She stopped in her tracks and her eyes narrowed. Expecting to see an empty driveway, it was safe to say Clarke was sufficiently confused when she saw a small U-Haul truck parked on the space.

 

“What the hell?” Clarke kept her eyes on the truck and shouted out to Raven, getting no response. “Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything, God.”

 

Pushing away the doubt she felt flash through her, Clarke couldn’t stop the quiet laugh from bubbling. If this was the surprise Raven was being terribly subtle about, the blonde felt guilty for lack of enthusiasm. She crossed her arms and shook her head to herself, leaning against the hood.

 

A few moments later, Raven peered around the corner and saw Clarke look over to her direction with a smirk. “You got me a moving truck.” The words came out with a hint of amusement and Clarke allowed the sides of her mouth twitch upwards.

 

Raven came into view wearing a sly smile, which quickly turned into a shit-eating grin. “I know what you’re going to say,” She began.

 

“I appreciate it but I’m kind of disappointed.” Her voice was not malicious or ungrateful in any way, Clarke said it as jokingly as she could.

 

The brunettes eyebrows pushed together, “Wait what?” Her facial expression didn’t change; the sarcasm in her voice wasn’t as surprising as it once was. “I thought you’d say Oh Raven you’ve really outdone yourself this time, Oh Raven I don’t know if I can accept this.”

 

“Almost, but not quite.” Clarke laughed.

 

“But let me stop you right there,” Raven walked closer until she was a few feet away and raised a finger. “The best part is actually inside.” There was a jingle from her pocket and Raven brought a set of keys in front of Clarke’s view.

 

“Oh yeah?” Clarke was skeptical but she humoured the girl regardless. “I can’t wait.”

 

Raven gave her an innocent smile before using her hand to gesture the blonde to see for herself. “When it comes to gifts, I’ve never let you down, am I right?”

 

Clarke couldn’t stop the scoff but she turned it into a sarcastic chuckle, “oh yeah, you know exactly what to get people.” She grabbed the keys from her hand and gave her a look before walking to the back of the truck. “I’ll never understand why the fuck you thought a vibrator would be a good idea for my sweet sixteen.”

 

She heard Raven burst into laughter at that and she couldn’t stop the huge grin that spread across her lips. “Well since you didn’t bother asking how managed to get you that I’m guessing it wasn’t a wasted effort.”

 

The blonde rolled her eyes and looked back at Raven with a fond look. She walked to the back of the small truck and used the key to unlock the back, opening it with a small click. “You’re unbelievable,” She said loudly before pulling the bar upwards and pushing it upwards with a swift motion.

 

“You have no idea.” Raven mumbled but Clarke didn’t hear the comment with the sound of the back door sliding open.

 

She also didn’t notice when the shorter girl sidled up beside her and looked to see the expression on her face contort from amusement to bewilderment.

 

Clarke peered her head in closer to the storage, narrowing her eyes before they bulged comically. “No way.”

 

With a proud smirk, Raven crossed her arms and waited for her to say more. “What’s that princess? I didn’t quite hear you.”

 

“Oh my god.” She watched as Clarke hoisted herself up and onto the storage area, putting her hands on the side of her head, “A fucking Vespa?”

 

Inside the 10 foot interior of the U-Haul was a black satin finish Vespa 946 that created an opaque effect to it, with the words ‘Emporio Armani’ on the side. It had brown-leather finishes that added to the luxurious look of the scooter, which captured Clarke’s undivided attention.

 

“What do you think?” Raven’s voice was genuinely curious but she didn’t let the smug grin drop from her features.

 

The blonde haired girl kept her fingers pressing down on her temples as she turned around to meet brown eyes. “This is a joke, right?”

 

“Last I checked, no.” Raven replied casually.

 

“This is too much- how did you even get this?” Though Clarke knew that scooters weren’t ridiculously unaffordable, the model in front of her couldn’t have been less than ten grand.

 

“Don’t give me all the credit, mom and dad helped with some of it and I paid for the rest.” The way Raven said it so easily made Clarke’s stomach tighten. “Plus I never got the chance to get you a birthday present,” she added with a shrug.

 

“Raven this is at least half a year’s worth of paycheques for you.” Clarke told her dejectedly.

 

“Hey whatever, don’t worry about it. Money’s just an object to me,” she said with a calm voice but it wasn’t enough to rid the blonde of her guilt. “Plus you’re going to be giving me rides all the time so it’s a win win.” Raven smirked and gave Clarke a wink.

 

The happiness in her brown eyes was enough to give Clarke the courage to smile wide back at her. She looked back at the scooter and her heart inflated, “This is so cool.”

 

The warmth in her stomach was a welcomed feeling and she was jumping down from the edge of the truck before she realized what she was doing. Her arms quickly wrapped around Raven who in return snaked her own arms around Clarke’s waist. “Thank you so much.”  
“Anytime.”

 

It wasn’t until she felt something roll down her cheeks that Clarke realized she was crying. She tried to blink them away and pulled away, faking a laugh while she tried to wipe away the moisture in her eyes.

 

“Are you crying?” Raven asked jokingly but she couldn’t hide the sincerity behind it.

 

“What? No.” Her nose got a little stuffed; the sniffling was a dead giveaway. “Okay yeah but it’s just-“ She looked at Raven with watery eyes and a tilted smile, “I’m really happy.”

 

It really did feel like everything was falling into place and when she thought things couldn’t get better, it always did. She wasn’t used to it, but it felt so good.

 

“It’s only up from here,” Raven said with a small reassuring smile.

 

She dried her eyes with the back of her hand and returned one of her own. “Yeah,” Clarke repeated mostly to herself. “You’re right.” The side of her mouth twitched as she looked at Raven with a shy smile, “From down this low, it’s only up we go.”

 

With roll of her eyes, Raven gave her a bashful look and finished the lyrics with a mock unenthusiastic tone, “up we go.”

 

The blonde gave her a wide toothy grin, before hefting herself back onto the back of the U-Haul. “Now help me get this beauty down.” Clarke crouched down and offered her palms out for Raven to grab.

 

The shorter girl grabbed it without any hesitation, and got hoisted with one easy pull from Clarke. She felt slightly unsteady and rested her palms on the blonde’s forearms quickly, trying to balance herself.

 

“Um, someone needs to be on the ground to help bring it down.” Clarke said slowly, the realization spreading across her face. “It’s going to be heavy.”

 

Raven could hear the slight change in her tone and she quickly caught on to what she was implying. “Fuck off it’s not that heavy, I can do it,” she bit out with a playful edge. “I’m smaller than you but I can still kick your ass.”

 

Yeah, Clarke was definitely right about one thing. Thank god for Raven Reyes.

 

-


End file.
